For the Record

For the record, I am not trying to be the “good guy.” I’m not trying to be some sort of great person doing a great thing — nothing of the sort. I know what kind of person I am (or was) and I know the sins of my past do not deserve forgiveness. I am not speaking out against my crime (and ongoing crimes like it) because I’m trying to cultivate some kind of image or seem like less of a bad guy.

I am speaking-out because it is the right thing to do. If there’s one mantra from Sex Addicts Anonymous which I’ve genuinely taken to heart, it’s the cliche, “Do the next right thing.”

I am (in my opinion) a pretty good writer and a decent public speaker. Therefore, I feel that it is my responsibility to use these abilities to “do the next right thing,” which is, from my perspective, the right thing to do.

My perspective is the same regarding the selling of my book, After 3PM. I don’t care if it sells well or not (though my publisher would likely disagree with me on this). I don’t care if lots of people buy it, as long as the necessary people read it.

Considering the financial investment I’ve made in this book, it will never turn a profit for me personally, and I’m completely fine with that. I don’t want to make money; I want to make a difference.

Seriously, if it was financially feasible, I would give the book away!

Doing the “next right thing” is literally the only way I can cope with the reality in which I now exist. That is why I wrote After 3PM. That is why I give speeches. That is why I’m willing to be the public image of this issue — this betrayal.  So if someone wants to ridicule and belittle me because of what I’ve done in the past, so be it — as long as they listen to what I have to say and at least respect what I am trying to accomplish.

I’m just a guy who did the wrong thing.
I’m just a guy trying to do the right thing.

I can never heal the people I’ve hurt, so

I’m not trying to cultivate any sort of positive image of “me” or prove anything to anyone. I am doing what I am doing to (as corny as it sounds) change the world. Admittedly, my optimism may be unrealistic, but as Steve Jobs once said, “The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”

It’s not about the messenger — it’s about the message.