For the record, nothing I say matters. I’m a criminal, a philanderer, a liar, a cheater – I’m just an all-around terrible human being. I mean, don’t let the fact that I have more education and have committed fewer sexual crimes than the newly-elected president make a difference. But that is all immaterial — it’s just details. Because as a result of my life choices, nothing I could possibly say could possibly matter, right?
But what if I happen to make a few valid points? Well, here’s what happens: Contemporary society has reached a point where discourse is less important than the individual delivering the message itself. Thus, anyone who would disagree with me regarding a particular point or perspective would likely aim their retort at me as a person rather than the substance of the statement being made.
This is merely another indication of the dumbing-down of contemporary American discourse. We have become excessively obsessed with critiquing the individual while simultaneously ignoring the overall message.
The person should not matter as much as the message. Period. But hey, ignore me. It’s fine.
But listen, I still have some valid and relevant things to say. “You’ve been through some shit,” my counselor told me today, agreeing with my assessment of the experiential journey I’ve taken through life. Granted, I am the first to admit that 80%+ of the shit I’ve been through has been shit of my own creation – my own errant choices. But I didn’t choose to be the child of a broken home, broken by infidelity; I didn’t choose to struggle with sex addiction; I didn’t choose to be raped. But all of my experiences – fault or no fault of mine – have given me a veritable treasure chest of knowledge and wisdom which could likely benefit the right person at the right time.
So I don’t care what the critics say, I am going to continue to do as much good in this world as I possibly can, trying to be a positive influence on a world to which I have contributed so much tragic negativity in my unfortunate past.
But if you think I’m not worthy of this, then by all means, ignore me. If you think I shouldn’t be saying anything about anything, then by all means, ignore me. If you think I should merely retreat to a dark and isolated hole in the ground, then by all means, ignore me.
But I think, after all I’ve seen and done, I have a few very valuable and meaningful things to say.
Perhaps I simply have “delusions of grandeur,” as Han Solo called it. Or maybe – just maybe – I’ve learned a few things; and maybe those few things can benefit someone in need.
Is there a point to this journey of mine? I like to think there’s a grand purpose in everything I’ve experienced which will live beyond the life I’m living. But in order for that concept to materialize, I must put forward the effort to make it worth it. I fully understand that the full meaning of “all of this” may (or will) not be known until far beyond, so until then, it’s one step at a time, one page at a time, one word at a time.
But if you don’t want to see it or hear it or read it, then by all means, ignore me. But ignoring me will be your only option. I refuse to remain silent.
I have a few things to say…